Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day 2011: A Double Legacy

This Winter I lost my Mother in Law. This is the first time that I am actually writing that out and I can feel the pangs welling up inside of me. She and I had an atypical relationship. I spent my Summer’s at my husbands family home so that our children could spend time with their grandparents. We worked together at the same family business. She was my best friend all summer long. I would abandon my home and schlep the children over 2500 miles by myself so that we could all be together. This pilgrimmage took place for over 6 years and now it is over. She is gone.

Almost 20 years ago I lost my own mother. I remember her hands and mmm...her smell. So good. That is strange for me to even type because it still feels as if it were yesterday. Seriously, if you have lost your mother, you would understand this strange reality. The connection with your mother is always so real because you came from her. This feeling does not disconnect because of death.

I miss them both terribly and can sometimes fall into a pretty dark place thinking about not having them in my life. It’s a fact: I am a Motherless Daughter. Now, doubly so. This could make anyone depressed. So instead, I force myself to think of the legacy that they gave me. There are many things that I could credit to these two amazing women. My love of cooking, children, and family were all instilled and stressed by them both. But I am going to stay on topic and discuss a true legacy that many women can really appreciate. These women left me a legacy of serious shopping skills.

When I was 7 days old, my mother insisted upon my grandmother seeing me. The airlines would not allow her to fly with a newborn and my grandmother had just had major surgery. My introduction to my grandmother was doomed. This is where Saks first entered my life. My mother, like myself, hardly listens to anyone and decided we were going anyway. She gently placed me inside of a Saks Fifth Avenue shopping bag and we were on way. We make it through security and I flew the 1 hour and 15 min. flight enshrouded by luxury. True story. I remember her love for the finer things in life, always seeking luxury for herself and loved ones. Marshall Fields, Neimans, and Saks were places she sought items for our family and homes hardly ever paying full price yet never skimping on quality. I continue this legacy with every shopping trip from Saks to The Salvation.

My mother in law was reknown for her amazing gift giving skills. She was one of those perfect women who had all of her Christmas shopping done by October. I know. It made me sick too. It was not uncommon for her to attend those 6am sales and drag all the girls along with her. Good times. She had everyones presents out the door by Black Friday and several huge boxes would arrive at our door weeks before Christmas. with instructions, “Immediately place under the tree, straighten out the bows and fluff the ribbon.” We are Texas women. Very serious about decor. For every occasion she had shopped foe and prepped the perfect gifts. She was passionate about what she gave and I have always admired this about her. Now that she is gone, I’ve vowed to adopt her motherly ways of shopping and pass it on to my own babies.

I don’t want to be sad today as I often am. I am a mother now. I love my children ooohhh so much and they make my day special for me. I miss my two Mothers terribly and these tears that I am shedding right now are good for me and my day will be better for it. Love your own mothers today and everyday. Embrace them and realize the legacy today so that you can cultivate it now. I feel that I am an amalgam of my two mothers and that is why I am able to share all of my years of grooming and experience with you in each and every blog. Happy Mother’s Day. We are all so blessed.